I hope this article finds you well. I’m going to be completely honest with you today. I have had a rough time trying to adjust to life with a full time job. Okay yeah, it’s been almost six months, but this is the first time in seven years years I’m no longer a student. While I worked here and there the past few years, I have never had a job quite like this one. Not to mention, I started nursing in the middle of a freakin’ pandemic. The cardiac ICU that I work in has been transformed into a COVID ICU since November. The burnout on our unit is real.
At the beginning of quarantine and over the summer, I was filling my time doing two things that I love! I cooked almost every day, and worked out up to three times a day. After working 12 hours overnight, it is really difficult for me to find the energy to do a workout. Hell, it was hard to find the energy when I was orienting on day shift.
I think we could all agree that the winter months and the stress of COVID are kicking everyone’s asses. Whether you are working in healthcare or not, this truly sucks. As time goes on, it’s becoming more and more difficult to be kind to myself. It’s hard for me to even write this and not have the voice in my head shouting, “Stop making excuses for being lazy!” Giving myself grace has always been hard for me. I know this is the case with many other people as well.
Yesterday, I tried on brand new workout clothes from my favorite brand. I was pumped, but that feeling quickly faultered when I looked in the mirror and all I could see was the little bit of weight I have gained in my waist. It spiraled from there when I began dissecting every little thing I found wrong with myself. The new roll I found on my back when I bent a certain way, the dullness in my skin, mask-ne on my face, and the cellulite on my thighs. I thought, “Great, I tried my hardest for this not to happen and it happened anyway.”
Today, I was working out in one of my cropped workout tops and leggings. I was holding a plank when I looked over in the mirror and noticed my waist again. I decided to ignore it and keep working, but even now its hard to stop thinking about. I still spent the whole workout thinking of foods I could cut out to cut down on bloating and belly fat. After the workout ended, I was scrolling through my Instagram and I found this quote:
“What if you said thank you to your body instead”
I read this and it put things into perspective right away. I should be thanking my body for providing me with the ability to be able to do my job. A job that I love. A job that allows me to care for people every day. I should be thanking my body for allowing me to stand at my stove, cook, and taste my favorite meals. My body allows me to laugh with my friends, drive to where I need to be, and take my dog for walks. I have a thick booty and thighs, but they help me push myself to hell and back in my workouts. (Also, thick thighs save lives amirite?)
I may be fluctuating in weight, but I still work out as much as I can and nourish my body with healthy foods. Now more than ever, I need to say thank you because my body is trying it’s hardest to keep up with my shitty sleep schedule, anxious mind, and sporadic meal times.
I encourage you to say thank you to your body right now, tonight before you go to sleep, tomorrow when you wake up, and any time you’re about to beat yourself up!
You are amazing! You are enough! You are doing the best you can!
Stay healthy, wear a mask, wash your hands, and thank your body today and every day!